Work life can often be challenging and one of the most difficult situations is when you receive criticism from colleagues and bosses. Think about this scenario:
You’ve delivered a report to a room full of colleagues and your boss. It took you weeks to prepare and you’re proud of what you’ve produced. But, at the end of the presentation one of your colleagues pulls your report to pieces. Many of the points he makes are wrong and seem very unfair. As he speaks, you feel yourself starting to get irritated at the unfounded criticism and you do not appreciate his attempt to humiliate you in front of the others at the meeting. Once he’s finished his critique all eyes shift to you. What do you do?
Do you react angrily and accuse him of trying to ruin your professional reputation? Or do you give considered answers that address and counter each point of criticism he makes?
Below are tips to help you stay calm and collected regardless of what’s thrown at you.
Remain calm – I cannot emphasise this enough. Under no circumstances start to shout or become defensive. You will only succeed in making yourself look as irrational as the person making the unfair criticisms. If you need to, take a few deep breaths and relax before you speak.
Take some time – don‘t feel pressured to respond immediately. Instead them to re-state their points or repeat them back to the person yourself to make sure you’ve understood what they are saying. This gives you time to call down, collect thoughts and formulate what you want to say. It also serves another purpose, if he’s made to repeat the criticism and it truly is unfair, it’s more likely that the other people in the room will see this too. It may even lead to him retracting what he’s said.
Don’t exaggerate – it can be easy, especially in the heat of the moment, to exaggerate – we all do it! Say for example he suggests that the sales strategy you’ve put forward will not be very successful. If you respond by suggesting that he’s saying you’re about to ruin the company, you are exaggerating, which can be viewed as being defensive and aggressive. Whilst it can be easy to do this when you are upset, it’s not helpful and may exacerbate the situation, so don’t do it!
Be open to discuss his perspective – if the tactic of taking some time doesn’t resolve the situation, it may be useful to counter his points by saying something like ‘I can see how you might think that, but maybe I’ve not explained it properly’, ‘This is how I see it…’ or ‘From my perspective it looks like this…’ This shows that you are willing to listen to his points and respect his viewpoint allowing a rational dialogue to begin.
Be firm and move on – if what you say doesn’t resolve the situation it’s better to suggest that you revisit the issue at another time. This will give you time to consider what he’s said and formulate your responses. A good way to do this is to say something like, ‘Thanks for your feedback, it’s something I’ll keep in mind’ or ‘If you’d like to discuss this further with me, I’ll be happy to arrange a time’. This shows you are willing to accept feedback and are open to help and advice from others. You never know, together you may come up with an even better plan.
So, next time you’re faced with an unfair judgement, keep these steps in mind and you’ll sail through it. If you’ve got any tips for keeping calm in the face of criticism, please let me know so I can pass them on.
