We all know that up to 90% of communication can be non-verbal and I’m sure you’ve all experienced this at some time or another. You’ve been speaking to someone and they give you an answer that you just can’t quite believe. Maybe it’s their body language that’s giving them away? Perhaps their mouth is saying yes, but their head is shaking no? Of course the signs can be much more subtle than that and may include eye movements, the way we sit, walk, hold our arms etc. More importantly, you will also be making these unconscious gestures, perhaps without even realise it.
By learning how to interpret body language you’ll be in a better position to understand what people are really saying and what non-verbal messages you are sending too!
Why Does This Matter?
It matters when you attend interviews as, in those few moments, you have to convince the interviewer that you are the right person for that job. If you come across as closed, awkward or, worse still, lacking in confidence, you could blow your chances of getting the role. So, how do you come across as confident, even when you feel really nervous?
Well, you can copy the body language of confident people. Do you know anyone who’s confident? If you do, how do they act when you are in conversation? Next time you meet them, try to observe if they have the following characteristics (preferably without coming across as a stalker!):
Eye contact – confident people will maintain eye contact with you while they are talking. Avoiding eye contact may come across as uninterested and can be quite off-putting when you are speaking to someone.
Gestures – gestures will be purposeful and deliberate. Crossed arms or hands in pockets give the wrong impression, but don’t go over the top the other way and start gesticulating wildly – you may come across as a little bit crazy! You can also nod in agreement and smile when appropriate.
Posture – open, upright with shoulders back and standing tall. Don’t slouch or hunch over, stand up straight and face the person you are speaking to. This tells the other person that you are interested and paying attention.
Speech – clear, concise and confident in what they want to say. Mumbling or hesitation will make it seem like you are unsure, even if you’re not, about what you mean and may lead to confusion. It may also come across as being unprepared or that you lack an ability to think on your feet. You also need to make a conscious effort to speak slowly, as nerves may make you babble quickly.
If you don’t know anyone you think of as confident, you could simply have a look at a website like TED. Watch a few videos and you’ll soon recognise who’s confident and who’s lacking in that department. Confident people are easy to watch, their speech flows, they make regular eye contact with the audience, they speak slowly and clearly – well, you’ll see for yourself.
So, now you know what confident people act like you can adopt these traits to come across as confident, even when you’re not! And, you’ll probably find that the more you act this way, the more confident you’ll become – it’s a win-win situation.
Have you got any tricks for feeling more confident? If you do, let me know so I can pass them on.
