So, continuing on the subject of body language, this week we’ll look at how to identify the signals in others.
When you communicate with others there are a number of things you need to observe. Watch the speaker carefully in the following areas and note:
- how their eyes are moving – do they maintain eye contact with you? Are they looking at the ground? Are they looking at other people in the room or out of the window?
- what they are saying – do they seem committed when they give you an answer? Is what they are saying in agreement with the signals the head, hands and body are giving?
- what they are doing with their hands – are they folded in front of their body? Are they wringing or playing with them? Are they gesticulating wildly while they speak?
- what facial expressions they are using – are they frowning, smiling or sad? Does their facial expression match what they are saying to you?
- what are they doing with the rest of their body? – are they standing still or fidgeting? Do they look tense and nervous or calm and relaxed?
I know it seems like a lot to keep your eye on, but once you get used to looking for the signals it’ll become easier. Do try to be discreet while you are practising or you run the risk of making the subject feel uncomfortable. And, remember to take the whole scene into account, so if the person you are talking to is folding their arms, carefully consider what the reason might be – could they just be cold?
How does your tone of voice affect what is being said?
If you think tone of voice is not important in your communication, just try this little exercise. Think about the sentence:
“I’m going to take care of you.”
You can say this sentence with real love and concern in a soft, caring voice. Or you could say it in a harsh, angry voice. If you add in a smile and outstretched arms to the first scenario, it’s clear that the speaker wants to help you. If you add a scowling face and a raised first to the second scenario, it gives a completely different impression of how you’ll be taken care of by the speaker!
Another example of how tone can affect meaning is when sarcasm is used. Sarcasm can change the meaning of the sentence entirely. For example, if you use the phrase ‘Thanks a lot’ it can be a genuine offer of thanks. But, it’s said sarcastically it’s usually because the speaker did not want you to do whatever it was you did and wished you’d not bothered.
The best body language to use in business
When you meet someone for the first time, especially in a business scenario, you want to come across as confident, professional and relaxed. Pay attention to the following areas and you will achieve this:
- tone of voice – keep your tone low to moderate. A high tone of voice comes across as nervous or panicky
- speech – be clear and speak slowly
- posture – stand up tall, shoulders back and absolutely no slouching!
- gestures – give deliberate gestures to reinforce what you are saying, but don’t overdo it
- eye movement – look the other person in the eye and ‘smile’ with your eyes
How can reading other people’s body language help you?
Knowing how to read body language can help you communicate more effectively. When you speak, matching your body language to what you are saying helps to make sure that you do not give mixed messages with your hands or facial expressions.
In fact, you read body language every day. Think about it – when when you ask a friend or loved one if they are okay and they say ‘yes’, you know by looking at their eyes, face, posture and so on if they truly are okay or just saying it. You know this because you know them well and can usually tell if they are upset. When you learn to read body language you’ll be able to see this in other people too.
It can help you build rapport too. Many accomplished readers of body language will attempt to build rapport by observing and mirroring the body language of the person they are speaking to, making them feel comfortable and relaxed.
So, make sure you are observant and body language could become another great asset in your arsenal of successful business tools.
