Getting what you want in life requires a certain degree of assertiveness. But, what do we mean when we talk about being assertive? Well, to begin with let’s get one thing straight – being assertive is not the same as being aggressive. Some people think that being aggressive towards others is the way to get results. However, these days, it’s more likely to land you in a disciplinary hearing for bullying! At the other end of the scale, there are those who allow others to walk all over them because they don’t know how to ask for what they want. They can be described as being passive. Do you recognise yourself in either of these two descriptions?

Actually, being assertive simply means you stand up for yourself and ensure that your rights are respected. So, how do you improve your assertiveness to make sure you get what it rightfully yours?

Ways to be Assertive

Don’t worry, whether you are too timid or have a ‘short fuse’ and sometimes appear too aggressive there are things you can do to improve your assertiveness. Read through the statements below and keep them in mind when you need to be assertive:

1. The first and most important thing is to know your rights. You simply cannot fight for your rights unless you know what they are. Learning about employment laws that relate directly to you as an employee is essential to prevent you from being exploited. You should know how many breaks you are entitled to, how long your lunch break should be, what the health and safety laws for your work place are and so on. Most of this will be covered in your handbook, which you should get when you start in a new workplace, but if it’s not, you can find out on government or employment law websites.
2. Understand that your rights are no more or less important than anyone else’s. Don’t feel that your rights are less important than the other people you work with – no matter how long you’ve been working in the position. Just because someone has been with the company for years does not mean that they should get special privileges. All employees should be treated equally.
3. It does not end at your rights – your feelings, thoughts, needs and desires are just as important as anyone else’s too! For example, you would like to take your lunch at 12.00pm and another member of staff also wants that time. However, she argues that she cannot wait until 1.00pm because she gets too hungry. But, you argue that you also get hungry so why should her hunger be more important than yours? Her right to demand 12.00pm is no more valid than yours and in this situation you would have to be assertive and state that a compromise must be made that suits you both.
4. Don’t wait for someone else to ask you what you want or provide you with your rights – you have to make sure you get what you are entitled to. If you wait for someone else to ask you if your needs are being met, you could be waiting forever! And, if you say nothing, it’s likely that your employer will think you are perfectly happy with the situation.
5. Say no when you need to. One of the best ways to be assertive is to make sure that when you cannot do something you say no and mean it. If you take on too much work you’ll simply end up stressed and feeling like you are being taken advantage of. Your refusal may upset some people, but that’s okay – you cannot keep everyone happy all of the time.

Okay that’s enough for this week. Next week we’ll discuss the language you should use when being assertive. And, if you have any other ways of asserting yourself do let me know.

P.S Just to let you know, we will be closed for our Christmas break from the 21^st December until the 2^nd January.

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